"I have a plan", beamed Mr. Zhang, and plan he had...
First. he was going to drug the Capybarra using the remainder of the elephant immobilizer.
Second, he was going to use his shiny new " Liveryman Calypso horse hair Clippers" to shave off all their hair.
Third, wrap them in a avocado green blanket that mildly smells of feet (stolen from his bed) and put them in the back of his motor trike.
Fourth, he was going to dismantle the crate with the tools he had brought. (He had brought a hammer)
A lifetime of dreaming and three years of scheming had brought poor Mr Zhang to tears. His extremely loud and over the top Shandong accent was silenced by the scared "eeps" emanating from the aluminum crate.
He looked into the crate and two pairs of giant gerbil eyes stared back. Big wet bulbous eyes, as black as the bowels of hell eyed Mr. Zhang.
Mr Zhangs big wet bulbous eyes, black as the bowels of hell looked back, and it did not go unnoticed by the said giant gerbils, that a paternal bond between a Shandong ren and two Venezuelan giant rats had begun.
Touching the cool aluminium Mr. Zhang became aware of problem number 1 - that the crate was not wood as he had expected but aluminium. Aluminium that seemed to have no screws or joints.
Problem number 2 - those Capybara looked agitated and defensive and he reckoned he was in for a fight to get a needle in their neck.
Problem number 3 - he had not brought his fake leather brown (pvc) cowboy hat. He often wore his cowboy hat at home because it made him feel, well... like a cowboy and cowboys were brave and, and never worried... and he wished he was brave and had no worries. He always had the best ideas when he wore his cowboy hat!
Problem number 4 - how was he was going to use his shiny new " Liveryman Calypso horse hair Clippers"? He saw no electrical outlets. None, zip, and he had no extension cable, either. He pined for his cowboy hat.
Of course Reader there was bigger problems ahead, such as, in a week or two Mr Sun would wake up...or what do Capybaras eat? The answer is not mantou or maybe the answer is mantou. If you're Chinese the answer is indeede mantou.
shanghied Chairman
Joined: Aug 29, 2009
Posts: 59
Posted:
Nov 18, 2009 - 03:23 PM
Mr Zhang Ying Chao looked back on this past glorious month as he soaped up in his shower. More than 30 days had gone by and he was a new man. He smirked remembering his orgasmic delight in rubbing a bottled of Jackie Chan's shampoo onto their drugged furry bodies. He had delighted in giving each a soapy belly massage but it had not been enough. Mr Zhang wanted more - more of what I dare not write, but more of it, he wanted. So on that day, on an expanse of concrete at Jinan Airport, in front of two shaved Panama Water Dolphins Mr Zhang reclaimed his manhood. I literally mean that sentence. I shall say it again. Mr. Zhang reclaimed his manhood. He felt it throbbing in his whiskey colored stained longjohns. He felt a longing. A wanting. Blood was flowing to places long dead or clogged with pollutants. Mr. Zhang fell to his knees and screamed out. He began to cough. The cough became a wheeze and Mr Zhang went into convulsions brought on by a lifetime of ingesting Jinan's fetid air. Mr. Zhang screamed out in agony and ecstasy. The moment of intensity passed. Mr Zhang had ejaculated in his long Johns the coughing spasm no more. It was the biggest orgasm in the history of the world and it had sent Mr. Zhang a little mad for he knew what he must do. He must use the Liveryman Calypso horse hair Clippers on himself. Every hair must go. Mr Zhang had peeled off his 12 layers of clothing and shivered. He began to shave his feet and worked upwards.
Yes more than 30 days had gone by, and the cult of the Capybarra had begun. Mr. Zhang wiped steam from the mirror in his bathroom and ran his eyes over the hairless bodies of him and his wife. Her eyelid had healed up nicely after (30 days ago) he had taken the Liveryman Calypso horse hair Clippers to her eyelid wart and then chased her round the house with a bottle of Jackie Chan's Shampoo and a disposable razor. She had not succumbed easily to his soapy breast massage but over time, a rope and the remains of the elephant emobilizer he had made her his ardent diciple. At this moment they shaved each other further using pink bic disposable razors while faint eeps from happy Capybarra emanated from the living room. Life was good. Mr Zhang had made love to his wife 7 times now (not including the 2 times that had got her pregnant) and he was planning on making it lucky number 8. (When unheard by the Zhangs) there was a knocking on the front door. Followed by a rapping. They continued with the shaving and the soaping. The sound of water beating on Mr Zhangs fake leather hat drowned out the outside world. And so it was Mr. Zhang's apartment door was thus kicked off its fcuking hinges.
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